The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
