We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
