I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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