So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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