Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
