Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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