Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
