he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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