Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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