All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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