did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
