The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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