hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
