Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
