it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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