I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
