mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
