Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
