I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
