Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
