I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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