I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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