Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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