Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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