This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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