I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
