Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
