apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
