you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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