No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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