She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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