Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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