were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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