Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
