one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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