dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
