I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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