How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
