yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
