And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
