I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
