im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
