yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
