I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
