The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
