if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
