Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
