The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I wish i was in the wii world.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
