Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
