The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Terrible idea I love it
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
