this beer tastes like vomit already
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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