i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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