maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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